


Kimi wo dare ni mo furesasenai yo (I won’t let anyone else touch you)

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, M/M, Rebound, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 14:22:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15843087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: He wanted to know what was wrong, but he knew the younger’s boundaries all too well.He knew that he needed his time, and that he didn’t like to be forced into things.





	Kimi wo dare ni mo furesasenai yo (I won’t let anyone else touch you)

 

Yuya was still under the shower, when he heard the doorbell ring.

He turned the water off quickly, wearing his bathrobe and running to the entrance, without minding the fact that he was spreading water all over the apartment.

He rushed to open, and he found Chinen there.

He opened his eyes wide, staring at him for a few moments before speaking.

“Chii! What happened?” he asked, turning instinctively to look at the clock. “It’s way past eleven.” he informed him, looking confused.

They had met that afternoon.

They had filmed the next month’s Shokura, then they had gone home.

Or at least, that was what Yuya thought.

“I'm sorry. I...” the younger hesitated, then he put on an indifferent expression and took a step forward. "Can I come in?” he asked, and went inside without waiting for an answer.

Takaki was even more confused.

Chinen’s eyes were red, he clearly had cried. And for sure there had to be a good reason why he was at his door this late, the excuse of a casual visit wasn’t going to hold.

But he chose to play his game, at least for the time being.

He watched him take off his shoes and walk to the living room, by now so familiar with the apartment that it was like he lived there too.

“Want something to eat or drink?” he asked, after Chinen had sat on the couch.

“No, thanks. I...” again, he paused. “I’ve already had dinner, thanks Yuuyan.” he said, and the elder couldn’t help noticing there was something he was holding out.

He sat next to him, trying not to stare.

He wanted to know what was wrong, but he knew the younger’s boundaries all too well.

He knew that he needed his time, and that he didn’t like to be forced into things.

Also, seeing the state he was in, he knew he was going to be even less tolerant than usual.

“Want to do something?” he asked then, still pretending that it was perfectly normal for him to be there at that hour, without an apparent reason.

The younger shrugged, as to say that he was fine with anything.

Yuya sighed, trying not to be heard, and he turned the TV on, then he got up and headed to the kitchen.

“See if there’s something interesting on. I’ll go make some tea.” he said, resigning to a long waiting.

The other nodded, lazily grabbing the remote and starting to surf through the channels.

Once in the kitchen, Yuya put his hands down on the sink, he opened the cold water and closed his eyes briefly.

There was something which made him feel uncomfortable.

There was _always_ something making him uncomfortable, when it came to Yuri.

Their relationship had never been healthy, for either of them.

When Yuri was younger he had an obsessive attachment toward him, so much that Yuya had convinced himself he felt something for him.

He had never told him anything, he had let him do as he pleased and he had let him be close, ignoring the issue.

If the issue existed at all, which he had never ascertained.

Because Chinen hadn't talked, he hadn't asked, and with growing up the younger had seemed to have grown tired of chasing after him. Yuya had seen him look at Yamada with the same eyes he had once looked at him, he had seen him look for him, be close to him in a more than friendly way.

And then he had been happy. Because it meant he was never going to have to face uncomfortable arguments, that he was never going to have to slam a door in his face, that he could keep being his friend.

Recently, though, he had found himself thinking about him in a different way.

He didn’t feel anything for him. He was a friend.

But he liked having him around, a lot. Too much.

He searched for physical contacts like he had never done before, he gravitated around him without even noticing.

And, even now, having him at hand’s reach in that unusual situation, wasn’t good for him at all.

He breathed in deeply, trying to calm down. He kept still for a short while longer, then he turned and started making tea.

He was forced to stop almost immediately, though. Chinen was on the doorstep, staring at him.

“Something’s wrong, Yuuyan?” he asked, looking like he had no interest in hearing the answer.

“No, Chii, don’t worry. My head was spinning a little, that’s why I closed my eyes. I must’ve moved too fast.” he replied, trying to smile to him.

The younger nodded, then he walked to the stove and started making tea instead of him.

“Let me, I’ll do it.” he said, his voice almost exasperated.

“Nothing interesting on TV?” the elder asked then, leaning against the table and looking at him as he got busy with the cups and teabags.

“No. There’s _never_ something interesting on.” he answered distractedly, looking almost disgusted.

Takaki, lucky for him, was a patient man.

Or perhaps, more than patient, he was used to having to deal with Yuri. So he didn’t get irritated for the tone he had used, for the lack of explanations about his presence there, for his attitude.

He just smiled to him one more time, sitting on one of the chairs around the table, never tearing his eyes off of him.

He watched him as he stayed still in front of the kettle, nervously hitting his foot on the floor, as if staring at the water was going to make it boil faster.

He watched him tear the teabags open and put them in the cups, then slowly pouring the water, every movement accurate.

The more he looked at him, the more he felt... fascinated.

He liked the way he moved, always gracious even the simplest gestures. He liked the focused look on his face. He liked his hands, delicate, the way they gently handled things clashing with his whole character.

He put a stop to those thoughts when the younger put the cup down in front of him.

He thanked him with a smile, then he asked for him to sit down as well.

They kept quiet for a long time; Chinen stares inside of his cup, slowly stirring it as if trying to convince himself to drink. And Yuya stared at him, unable to stop the train of his thoughts.

Minutes went by, and the desire to get closer to him became almost unbearable.

He put his hand to his knee, digging his fingernails into it, as he kept repeating himself that there was no reason for such a reaction.

Yuri was there in front of him, he had cried for some reason, he had chosen to go to him and...

And there was something in him Yuya couldn’t resist.

In his frown, in how seriously he stared at the cup, in the excessive strength he applied to hold it.

He couldn’t remember to have ever seen him like that.

And he couldn’t remember to have ever seen him more beautiful.

He got up, quickly, standing next to him and taking his face in his hand, lingering for a moment to think it was small enough to fit in his palm.

Then he leant down and kissed him.

It was unreal.

As attracted as he felt by him, as much as he liked to have him close, as much as he had desired this, he had never even imagined to actually do it.

And now that he tested the texture of Chinen’s lips on his own, he felt like an idiot for not having done this before.

He loved the feeling.

The feeling of doing the right thing, still knowing how wrong it was.

The younger didn’t react, not straight away.

He let Yuya kiss him for a few seconds, and when the elder wanted to deepen the kiss, when his teeth nibbled his lower lip, Yuri stood up, bringing his arms around his neck and holding him tight, almost to the point of hurting.

Takaki put his hands on his hips, pulling him closer; close as he wanted him.

He loved it, but his mind found no rest.

He pulled away abruptly, his breath uneven, and kept looking at him for a while before speaking.

“Chii... are you sure it’s the right thing to do?” he asked, hating himself for how unnatural his voice sounded while saying those words. The younger arched an eyebrow.

“You’re the one who started it, am I wrong?” he replied, just as breathless.

Takaki hesitated.

“I know, but... you came here, there must be a reason, whether you want to talk about it or not. And I don’t know how fair it is of me to...” he got interrupted by Yuri’s hand on his mouth.

“The reason why I'm here has nothing to do with it, Yuya. Did you start something? Then shut the hell up and finish it.” he hissed.

The elder hesitated only a split second longer.

Then he finally shut up that part of him which kept telling him something was wrong, and he kissed him again.

 

~

 

Yuya didn’t know how he felt.

Yuri and him were lying in bed, only a blanket covering them.

The younger had his back turned, and Yuya didn’t like that he couldn’t see his face.

He scooted closer, bringing his arms around his waist and leaning his head against his back, inhaling his scent.

He smelt of sweat and sex.

He knew it was wrong, as much as he had chosen to ignore it for every second he had spent holding to him, for every second he had spent kissing him, touched him, licked him, bit him. For every second he had spent inside of him, hearing him moan under his thrust.

Something was off, and he had just chosen to postpone his guilt.

The time was come, though.

He was about to speak, to finally ask for explanations, but the younger preceded him.

“I went out with Ryosuke tonight.” he murmured.

Yuya bit his lip.

All of a sudden, he didn’t want to hear anymore.

That name was enough to know that he wasn’t going to like this conversation.

He kept quiet, asking no question, and he didn’t have to wait long.

“I told him what I... feel for him.” another pause, and Takaki knew it was to keep his reactions in check. “He told me he doesn’t feel the same. That I'm a friend. _Only_ a friend. And that there’s never going to be anything between me and him.” he said, bringing a hand close to Yuya’s over his own chest and distractedly playing with his fingers. “I'm sorry I came here, Yuya, but I didn’t know where else to go.” he added then, his voice less steady.

Yuya closed his eyes.

He clenched them, wishing he didn’t have to pen them again.

He was torn between the feeling of having used Yuri and having been used by him.

They were both wrong, but it didn’t relieve them from any guilt.

He got slightly up, leaning toward him.

“I'm sorry, Yuri. Really. I... I shouldn’t have asked. I shouldn’t have kissed you, I shouldn’t have slept with you.” he said, unable to express himself otherwise.

The younger laughed, briefly and without any real involvement, then he turned toward him.

“It’s my fault too, after all.” he paused, as if he was thinking about what to say or how to say it. “I came here because I didn’t want to think about it. Because I wanted to pretend it had never happened. But I couldn’t. Then you’ve started kissing me, touching me and...” he sighed. “He hugged me. Ryosuke, before leaving, he hugged me, and I still felt his scent on me. And I’ve kept smelling it until it got covered by yours.” he turned around completely, hugging him. “I like the smell that’s on me now. It’s easier, like this. It makes me feel...” he frowned, looking for the right word. “Makes me feel at home. Loved, even though not of that love which...” again he stopped, and he didn’t go on.

Not of that love he wanted from Yamada, Yuya knew how the sentence went on, and somehow he was glad the younger had stopped talking.

It was true. He didn’t feel love for Chinen, not the way he wanted it. And, anyway, Yuri wasn’t looking for it in him.

He kept quiet, he had nothing to say.

He didn’t know if it had been a mistake or not, he didn’t know the reason why it had happened.

He just knew he was glad Yuri liked his smell on him, and that he liked that too.

He hugged him back.

He wasn’t willing to let go of that scent yet.


End file.
